September 11, 2001

Like most, I remember where I was and what I was doing.

I was 3 months pregnant with Kaylan. We were stationed here at Ft. Hood, and I was making breakfast. Dewey had just gotten home from PT and had showered. I think I was making Mom's sausage/egg burritos. Dewey was getting dressed and yelled to me to come look. When I got in our bedroom, he had the news on and they were talking about a plane that had just hit the 1st tower. I thought it was an accident of some sort or some terrible hoax. I just stood there and watched in utter disbelief. When what was really going on hit me, I instantly knew Dewey was leaving.

They closed down Post. All civilian employees were sent home and all active duty had to stay. At some point Dewey came back home and we (all 3 of us) flopped on the couch and napped a little. Then the phone started ringing and Dewey had to go back up there. I didn't see him again until late that night. Not knowing was the worst, but I had to count my blessings. At least I had my husband. I knew where he was and what he was doing-sort of. For the next week I was in front of the TV, absolutely glued. Poor Lilly. She had to watch the news, too. But she was so good. She just played and snuggled with me. Then I started thinking about my other baby. What kind of a world was I bringing it into? What would my children have to deal with? I felt the worst kind of guilt.

Eventually, all the flags came down and life went on. And they took all the 9-11 footage off the TV's. That really made me mad. They should show it everyday as a reminder of what's out there just waiting for us to let our guard down-even a little. It should serve as a reminder of the hatred other nations/cultures feel toward us. Now we have these jackass celebrities (Maggie Gyllenhaal) saying things like the U.S. government was "responsible in some way" for the 9-11 attacks. Really?? That's funny because in the last 7 years we've been "attack free" and they've stopped several plots to try to hurt us again. But they're still responsible in some way, right? Maybe Dewey's partly to blame because he's in the Army. You know, those warmongers that defend our country everyday to give dumb#&*^% like Maggie Gyllenhaal the right to say whatever ignorant thing she wants. But, who am I to judge?

We don't really ever hear about the plane that went down in the PA field. Where would it have hit had those brave men and women NOT been on that plane? What would've happened if it had been a different group of people? I'm grateful to those people everyday because that plane could've come here-to the largest military installation in the U.S.

We went to D.C. over Memorial Day Weekend in 2002. I have the coolest pictures of the Pentagon. I took it when we were driving by and it was still being repaired. It was awesome. If any of you have been to D.C., you know that you either take a cab or already know your way around. You don't try to do it on your own. (By the way, this was when the infamous "squirrel attack" happened to Lilly.)

I don't think Dewey likes Darryl Worely, but I do. He's very conservative and doesn't get the credit he deserves for his work. He came to Ft. Eustis a couple years ago, so Dewey and I had a date to see him. His show was great. If you aren't familiar with him, you should be. He's a country singer, and he writes some of the most patriotic songs I've ever heard. He wrote this song, "Have You Forgotten?," a few years back. I'd heard about it, but I hadn't heard it until I was going from Dewey's mom's house back to my parents' house. I had to pull over because I just started balling, like a big, fat titty baby. When Darryl (we're on a first name basis) played that song at Ft. Eustis, it was one of the most incredible experiences. He changed up some of the lyrics, but I'm not repeating them right now. Since it was on Post, there were all soldiers and their spouses there. You could tell there was an enormous amount of pride among everyone, yup, even my Clem. I think that has to be one of my favorite songs. He also wrote a new one for his last CD, "I Just Came Back from a War." Holy cow.

So this morning I've been watching all the memorial services. And they even put some of that original footage back on. Before I got in the shower I went through Dewey's drawers. My wardrobe has doubled since he's been gone. When I got to the very bottom one, it was empty. It only had a couple pairs of socks. This is the drawer where Dewey keeps his uniform stuff-all his brown t-shirts, socks and PT's. It broke my heart and *&$#^@ me off all over again because he's back over there because of what happened 7 years ago today. So I threw myself a good screaming cuss fit. I hadn't opened that drawer until this morning. Don't know why I did, either. I knew what was in there. I guess I just expected to find it full, like it usually is. Until this morning I've only opened 1 drawer, and it was really fast just to grab a shirt.

I thought I'd include Darryl's lyrics to "Have You Forgotten?" It's appropriate today.

I hear people sayin'.
We Don't need this war.
I say there's some things worth fightin' for.
What about our freedom, and this piece of ground?
We didn't get to keep 'em by backin' down.
They say we don't realize the mess we're gettin' in.
Before you start preachin' let me ask you this my friend.

Chorus
Have you forgotten, how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten, when those towers fell
We had neighbors still inside goin through a livin hell
And you say we shouldn't worry bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

You took all the footage off my T.V.
Said it's too disturbin for you and me
It'll just breed anger is what the experts say
If it was up to me I'd show it everyday
Some say this country just out lookin' for a fight
Well after 9/11 man I'd have to say right.

Chorus
Have you forgotten, how it felt that day?
To see your homeland under fire
And her people blown away
Have you forgotten when those towers fell
We had neighbors still inside goin' through a livin' hell
And we vow to get the ones behind Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?

I've been there with the soldiers
Who've gone away to war
You can bet they remember just what they're fightin' for

Have you forgotten
All the people killed
Yes some went down like heroes
In that Pennsylvania field
Have you forgotten
About our Pentagon
All the loved ones that we lost
And those left to carry on
Don't you tell me not to worry 'bout Bin Laden
Have you forgotten?
Have you forgotten?
Have you forgotten?!